Archive for » February 23rd, 2012«

The Family’s Rules Made Whitney’s Funeral All About Bobby Brown!

Bobby broke a promise. Badass Bobby Brown broke a promise, causing him to leave his ex-wife’s funeral, kiss the casket and walk out the door. Well I say, that game was fixed.

If you don’t know, Bobby was only allowed to attend Whitney Houston’s funeral if he could abide by some simple rules: don’t sit with his children from another woman and don’t try to contact his daughter with Whitney, Bobbi Kristina.

Allegedly, his lawyer agreed to these stipulations and Bobby was allowed to attend the memorial service. Pardon my French, but that’s some bullsh*t. I get it, the funeral was not about Bobby Brown, but by placing these ridiculous rules on him, they made it about Bobby Brown.

Bobby was married to Whitney Houston for 15 years, she was the stepmother to his other children. So to treat them like stepchildren, call them an entourage and ask them to sit separate from their father, that’s foul.

New Edition founder Mike Bivins points out that Whitney chose Bobby when they first met at the 1989 Soul Train Awards.

“Remember, she had Randall Cunningham from the Eagles, she had Eddie Murphy… even Robert De Niro – so she had the ‘A’ list stars. But she picked the guy that she wanted. She invited him to her party and he came in, they cut up on the dance floor and she found the love of her life. I think everyone has to look at it like she chose him; he didn’t choose her.”

Let’s not forget, Bobby Brown was one of the biggest things in music at the height of his career. His album Don’t Be Cruel produced 5 top 10 hits and sold over 8 million albums. So it’s safe to say they fell as a couple!

So I’ll repeat: the memorial service wasn’t about Bobby Brown but these unfair rules made it about him. Rules that never took his feelings into consideration. His kids were his connection to Whitney, Bobbi Kristina is his legacy with Whitney. Denying him access to that at that moment was cruel. All he could do was kiss the casket and leave.

We should be lucky because the Bobby Brown Whitney fell in love with would have torn the place up with his badass ways.

Because if you ever questioned what Whitney Houston loved about Bobby, it’s all explained in this video below. When the reporter calls Bobby Brown’s mother a few names the interview doesn’t continue much longer.

Luckily for us, that is not the Bobby we saw this weekend. He showed restraint, and humbly walked out. Bobby and Whitney lived without rules, even when they needed some.

In and life and in death, they will always be linked – the world will just have to deal with it. Let’s just hope everyone can all get closure.

Blog Xilla 

Xilla is the Sr. Entertainment Editor for GlobalGrind.com as well as CEO of the number 1 relationship blog BlogXilla.com/M2TB.com. He has been featured in XXL, The Source, Essence, LA Times and is considered one of the premiere bloggers in the industry. Follow him on twitter @BlogXilla

Falling in love with words

I take comfort, though, in knowing I’m not alone. Word crushes are downright commonplace. (Right?) We asked a few of our favorite language experts to reveal theirs.

“The word was ‘abalone,’ and the book was ‘Island of the Blue Dolphins,’ by Scott O’Dell. I was about 9 years old when I read the book, growing up 1,500 miles away from the nearest ocean, and I mispronounced the word as ‘ab-uh-LONE,’ but I thought it was such a beautiful, haunting word. I was pretty sad when I figured out that word was really pronounced ‘ab-uh-LOW-nee.’ So much of its beauty depended on that mispronunciation. — Kory Stamper, associate editor at Merriam Webster• • •

“I fell in love twice in the first grade: First withmy teacher, Miss Prosser, and then with ‘triceratops,’ a word as large and strange as the flange-headed beast it denoted. Thanks to triceratops (and Miss Prosser), I learned that ‘tri’ means three, a very useful thing to know. I learned also that polysyllabic words impress and annoy grown-ups in equally gratifying ways. To this day, I teach rhetorical terms like ‘anadiplosis’ and ‘metonymy’ to delighted youngsters while adults shrink in fear. Soon after Miss Prosser taught me that splendorous saurian terminology, I caught her kissing a man (her fiancé, it turned out) during recess. But triceratops has never betrayed me.”

— Jay Heinrichs, author of “Word Hero: A Fiendishly Clever Guide to Crafting the Lines That Get Laughs, Go Viral and Live Forever” (Three Rivers Press)

• • •

“Something about ‘kerfuffle’ struck me as wonderful and I fell in love with the word. It calls to mind tussling chickens and flying feathers and seems just right for describing a crazy fuss that we’ll all soon forget.

— Mignon Fogarty, author of “Grammar Girl’s Punctuation 911: Your Guide to Writing it Right” (Henry Holt and Co.)

• • •

“Probably ‘pupicek,’ the Czech word for bellybutton. (Navel is pupek; pupicek is the diminutive of navel, which would correspond with the English bellybutton.) I know I had an imaginary friend named that. I would have been 2 or 3. As for English, I don’t really know, but we got to choose our own spelling words in first grade, and I remember my first test included ‘chimney’ and ‘hippopotamus.’ “

— Steve Kleinedler, executive editor, American Heritage Dictionary

• • •

“I remember falling in love with — of all things — ‘pea-green.’ Lucky for me, this was the early ’70s, when that color was more prevalent.

— Stephen D. Rogers, author of “The Dictionary of Made-Up Languages: From Elvish to Klingon, The Anwa, Reella, Ealray, Yeht (Real) Origins of Invented Lexicons” (Adams Media)• • •

“I remember becoming obsessed with ‘defenestrate.’ Years ago, when I was an assistant, one of my co-workers mentioned this word, and as you can imagine, there were many times I wanted to defenestrate myself after a hard day of work. It was just such a technical-sounding word for the meaning that it held. I definitely managed to insert it into several conversations that I’m sure didn’t need it.”

— Courtney E Greenhalgh, associate director of publicity at Workman Publishing

• • •

“As best as I can recall, it was ‘macabre,’ whose sound and meaning suited my adolescence. How cool to draw out that second syllable and snap it off with a French ending — macaaahhh-bruh. And to a young would-be iconoclast, what wasn’t ‘gruesome, ghastly, and horrifying’ — in a good sense? ‘Hey, you read “Lolita”? Macaaahhh-bruh, man!’ Today, as applied to presidential campaigns and such, I still love the word.”

— Arthur Plotnik, author of “Better than Great: A Plenitudinous Compendium of Wallopingly Fresh Superlatives” (Viva Editions)

Couple find love a second time

NEWARK — Dixie Jerles walked across the stage hesitantly to collect her prize of $900 Sunday at The Advocate’s 2012 Bridal Show.

The master of ceremonies of the event in the Reese Center on the Newark campus of Ohio State University and Central Ohio Technical College drew her name from the large barrel of registered brides-to-be.

The 60-year-old Zanesville resident said she felt awkward because so many young brides were in the audience. After accepting the money, she cried backstage.

Jerles is getting married in August to Richard Wiseman, 71, also of Zanesville.

This will be the second wedding for both.

Jerles lost her first husband five years ago on Feb. 13, when he died from kidney and heart disease.

Wiseman lost his first wife to Huntington’s disease more than two years ago.

They never thought they would be able to be happy again, but that all changed after they met.

“I feel God has blessed us,” Jerles said, sobbing. “How many times in your life do you have the chance to find happiness with someone you love? I feel like God brought us together.”

Jerles had come to the show because her 15-year-old granddaughter, Kaitlin Jerles, was a model for Jillian’s Formal Wear at the bridal fashion show.

Jerles had walked around the show, sampled the cakes and talked to the photographers, not realizing there was something to sign up for.

The emcee offered brides-to-be a last chance to register. Jerles gave her registration to someone on stage, and before she knew it, her name was called.

“It was just a shock,” Jerles said. “What a nice surprise. My granddaughter was as excited as I was.”

Jerles and Wiseman knew of each other for years, while they were married to their former spouses.

They had run into each other many times in the community, but didn’t really meet until friends introduced them. They immediately hit it off, Jerles said.

Wiseman proposed to her Oct. 1. The couple will use the $900 for the reception they are planning to have for family and friends.

“Everything is moving so fast,” Jerles said. “We just want to share the happiness we have with our family. That is what it is all about.”

Spirit Award nominees share low-budget secrets

(AP)  LOS ANGELES — The Spirit Awards celebrate the best in low-budget filmmaking. But within those honors, the John Cassavetes Award goes to films with even lower budgets: those made for under $500,000.

This year’s five nominees talked to The Associated Press about how they did it on the cheap. The winner will be announced at Saturday’s awards ceremony.

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“Bellflower,” about an idyllic love that turns explosively toxic. Evan Glodell wrote and directed; he and Vincent Grashaw edited, produced and co-star.

Budget: $17,000. Shot on high-definition video with three cameras Glodell built himself over three years in Oxnard and Ventura, Calif.

Their secret: “Being relentless and not compromising ever when you know what matters,” said Glodell, who couch-hopped, lived in an unfinished garage and sold nearly everything he owned. “Just keep going and remember what you’re trying to do and be willing to do absolutely anything short of killing someone to do it.” Grashaw added: “We wouldn’t have made a movie as good, I don’t think, if we’d had the money. I don’t think it would have been poured on the screen the same way.”

The hardest part: “Staying honest and not giving up,” Glodell said. “Because you question whether you’re crazy or not, and this may sound totally stupid but: ‘Do I even deserve to make a movie? Are my ideas dumb?’ Because you’re working so hard at it, you think you’re crazy.” Said Grashaw: “Just the fear of things totally collapsing and us not being able to finish it. If we didn’t have money to put gas in the car to go do something, we’d lose a day.”

Their advice to aspiring filmmakers: “What you have in front of you, the people that you know, the resources that are available to you, you can work within those guidelines,” Glodell said.

“Don’t think too much about what other audiences or people are going to think,” Grashaw said. “Just make your own damn movie and it’ll go wherever it’s supposed to go after that.”

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“Circumstance,” about a lesbian romance between two Iranian teens. Written, directed and produced by Maryam Keshavarz.

Budget: Mid-$300,000s. Shot on Super 16 film (then blown up to 35mm) over 24 days in Lebanon to look like Iran.

Secret: “Besides insanity? You really have to kind of sell people on this idea of this project: it’s your first film and why you’re so passionate about it. Because most people basically worked for free or they worked for, like, $100 a day. Locations were all given for free. A lot of the places where we stayed — because it was an on-location shoot — the housing, a lot of it was very cheap or free. … To do that, I had to get there early. It was a very long pre-production. I went several months before the producers and I met everyone who was working in film.”

Hardest part: “Doing anything inexpensively can be hard but in a way it can be good because it makes you more creative … That aspect of it, coupled with the fact that we were shooting in sometimes hostile locations — we had to submit kind of a fake script to the censors and slowly the word got out that we were actually shooting something different. … Then we had to smuggle the film out. So it’s not like we were a low-budget production but then we could see the dailies every day.”

Advice: “If you decide you’re going to do the project, decide what your means are and make it within those means. It doesn’t mean you have to get people that are less talented. There’s a lot of great, talented people that, if they believe in your vision, they’ll want to work on your project because they work on so many projects that they don’t believe in.”

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“The Dynamiter,” about a 15-year-old boy trying to protect his younger half-brother. Directed, co-written and co-produced by Matthew Gordon.

Budget: $250,000. Shot on digital video on the Red One digital camera over 20 days in Greenville, Miss.

Secret: “Just the generosity and the teamwork of all our cast and crew. You can get the best deal on a camera or any kind of equipment but it’s the cast and crew that has to work together as one strong team to make something work — particularly on the cheap. A lot of local people, all the actors worked for free. All the locations were donated. The crew worked all for a cut rate or no rate or very little rate. It was just a family atmosphere that made it possible.”

Hardest part: “There’s no time, and with the resources you have, you have a lot fewer choices and have to make do. That’s what you do. Time is short and when you’re asking for favors you don’t know what you’re going to get in any instance. People couldn’t make it, they’d cancel, and you’re dealing with so many things that aren’t preferable.”

Advice: “Make sure it’s absolutely something you love and have to do, and then it’ll always work out. If it’s really from a true place, something you love and want to share with other people, it will always work out. If you don’t do it that way, every trouble, challenge is going to seem much more insurmountable.”

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“Hello Lonesome,” featuring three separate stories about people trying to connect. Written, directed, produced and shot by Adam Reid.

Budget: $50,000. Shot on digital video with the Panasonic HVX camera over 15 days in Connecticut, New Jersey and Manhattan.

Secret: “There was no art department on ‘Hello Lonesome’ … The real world, especially at this budget range, does a magical job standing in for itself,” Reid said. “You strip away everything but what was essential. … So many things are donated. I have production partners that I work with in commercials and promos and they were really excited to work on a movie so I have so much more latitude in post which most filmmakers don’t necessarily get.”

Hardest part: “Having patience. It’s not going to happen quickly. So while the shoot was very compressed because that has to happen quickly, every other aspect of the process, including this — where we’re at now, the film festival tour, getting it seen, working out the distribution stuff — it takes time.”

Advice: “If you believe in your project and love the process, greenlight yourself. Turn the page and make it happen. I think it’s actually the best way to work. I don’t want to sound anti-Hollywood, I just think there’s too much dependence on looking for acceptance and finding people who will endorse you when you won’t necessarily endorse yourself.”

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“Pariah,” about a teenage girl struggling to come out as a lesbian. Written and directed by Dee Rees.

Budget: Mid-$400,000s. Shot on 35mm film over 19 days in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Secret: “We couldn’t afford a bunch of locations so (producer Nekisa Cooper) found a real estate broker who was selling brownstones in Fort Greene. So we went to them and there was a seller who was trying to sell their brownstone and it hadn’t been selling, so they were happy to have us rent it out for a month. … Then the art department was able to art out most of the house and we shot there for, like, 11 out of the 19 days. … All the interiors were in that house. … That allowed us to pre-rig the house and have our stuff there, have somebody stay there for security.”

Hardest part: Although Rees had already made an acclaimed short version of “Pariah,” raising money was difficult. “Even though we had the laurels, we’d already been to Sundance, people still were not writing the checks. … People put this film in a box — they thought it was too small, they thought it was a black lesbian film and that’s all that’s going to see it, so it was still a tough sell. It was really finding people that believed in the story. Our first investors were a lesbian couple that didn’t know a thing about film, who just said, ‘We believe in this story.’”

Advice: “It starts with the script, so think about your script and what you need to see to tell the story. If it’s an interior, an interior could be anywhere, so figure out how to consolidate resources and to build relationships early. … The less money you have, the more time you need to prepare and to build those relationships.”

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Online:

http://www.spiritawards.com/

Study: Cyclical Relationships Unhealthy

(EndPlay Staff Reports) – If spending this past Valentine’s Day alone had you reminiscing about past relationships and hoping to reconcile with an old flame, think again.

According to a new study from Kansas State University by assistant professor of family studies, Amber Vennum, being a part of a cyclical relationship – a couple that breaks up and gets back together – is not going to make anyone happy.

Vennum said, “When cyclical couples break up, they tend to be ambiguous about ending the relationship. So it can be unclear to one or both partners if they broke up and why they broke up, which leads to them continuing the romantic relationship. Other times the breakup won’t be unilateral, so one person pursues the other until they get back together.”

The findings were the result of evaluating the responses from cyclical and non-cyclical couples by using a relationship deciding scale to determine what the couples felt about their relationship and characteristics.

The results revealed that when couples got back together, they were more impulsive about making big decisions like moving in together or having a child together.

Because of these rash decisions, cyclical couples tended to be unsatisfied with their partner, reported poor communication and a lower self-esteem.

The news release also reported that similar findings were found in another U.S. study on cyclical relationships.

The other U.S. research team of cyclical relationships found that the reasons couples reunited was because they thought the other had changed or felt that their communication was better.

Cyclical relationships don’t differ much whether a couple is married or simply dating.

“It really shows that those patterns of cyclicality tend to repeat. If you tend to be cyclical while dating, you tend to be cyclical while married. The more you are cyclical, the more your relationship quality tends to decrease and that creates a lack of trust and uncertainty about the future of the relationship, perpetuating the pattern,” Vennum said.