After dating for a year, we bought a to-be-built town house together in January. Later that month he asked romantically, “So you want to get married?” and shocked my father by asking his permission. I was 39 and he was 41neither previously married. By Valentine’s Day we were planning our summer wedding. In April he moved into my apartment. And when he decided to sell his Datsun 240Z to pay off my Corolla, I knew how much he really loved me! We moved into the town house that fall. We’ll celebrate our 25th anniversary in July.

— Judy Maas

I had been a widow for over two years. A neighbor asked if I would “like to meet a gentlemen” she knew. I wasn’t too sure, but after I was interviewed on the phone by his daughter, he called and we made a dinner date. He arrived on my doorstep, neither one of us knowing what the other looked like. We hit it off immediately and were married six months to the day later. My dad always told me my Prince Charming would come to the door. He did, but it took 50 years!

— Jeannine Warren

Sandy and I went to high school together, and during our senior year, Sandy asked me to a “girl asks boy” formal. I never thought of her as a girlfriend, so I turned her down. After thinking about it overnight, I saw her at school and accepted. I was shy and new to the dating game. As we were walking from the car to the dance, Sandy took my arm. Somehow that broke the ice, and we had a great time. We were married four years later . This year we will celebrate our 54th wedding anniversary.

— Nick Dispensa

As the manager/coach of the Passavant Hospital women’s softball team in 1973, I was impressed with nurse Kathy Anderson’s ability to play third base. More impressive was her compassionate, empathetic way with people. One play, an opposing player came into third standing up and promptly put Kathy, who was standing on third with the ball in hand, onto the ground. Indignant, Kathy defiantly stood up and shouted, “You can’t do that!” (Very competitive; yet, incorrect.) We’ve been married 37 years.

— Alan Schmuttenmaer

Share the love: The secret of our good relationship is … Tell us in 100 words or less by emailing your thoughts or a video to sunday@tribune.com. Or, tweet your answer using hashtag #LoveNotes.

“Talk is cheap.” “Actions speak louder than words.” “You have to be willing to put your money where your mouth is.” “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?” Phrases like these remind us that people nowadays are keenly aware of hypocrisy. They can smell it a mile away and love to point it out. If you consistently speak one way and act another, you won’t fool people for very long. You’ll be called out for the fraud that you are.  

This is particularly true when it comes to being a Christian. The unbelieving world just loves to point out hypocrisy in the Christian church. There are very few things that make the opponents of Christianity more tickled with glee than to see a news report about a well-respected church leader caught up in some shameful scanda. One of most frequently used excuses by those who don’t want to go to church is, “Those people are all a bunch of hypocrites.”

As believers, Jesus tells us that we are the light of the world.  We reflect the love and goodness of our Savior in the way we live our lives. By our words and actions we draw people to Christ and his precious gospel message. Through faith we know and believe that Jesus laid down his life for us on the cross. By the single greatest act of love in human history he paid the full price for all our sins. His incredible love of Jesus now empowers and motivates us to live lives of love for God and for one another.

In his first epistle, the Apostle John marvels at God’s amazing love for us in Christ: “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God” (3:1). He also urges us to demonstrate that we are in fact children of God by showing sincere love for others: “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (3:18). Children of God are not hypocrites. We don’t just say we love God; we show it by obeying his commands. We don’t just say we love our fellow man; we show it by living in a way that puts the needs of others first.

It’s important to remember that love is primarily an action word in the Bible, not an emotion. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (Chapter 13). Our faith shows itself in things we say and do and in the way we treat other people.  Jesus once said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit” (John 15:6). We’re told in Galatians those fruits include, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22). When we see these fruits of the Spirit in our lives as Christians, when we see love in action, it gives us a certain amount of confidence that our faith is genuine and that the love of Jesus really is dwelling in our hearts and influencing the way we live.

But there’s a problem with looking to yourself and the fruits showing themselves in your life for such confidence, isn’t there? What happens when we don’t see these fruits in our lives? What happens when we don’t demonstrate Christ-like love in our words and actions? As sinners, our love will always be imperfect. It will always be tainted by sin.  And when we fail, our hearts condemn us, don’t they? Satan quickly jumps on our failures and accuses us, “You call yourself a Christian? You’ll never get to heaven like that!” Guilt and fear weigh down our hearts.

And yet, listen to what John writes, “Whenever our hearts condemn us…God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything” (1 John 3:20).  When your heart condemns you, realize what’s happening. It’s lying to you, telling you that your sin is greater than God’s love, greater than his grace, greater than the sacrifice of your Savior Jesus.  It’s all a lie. The truth is this: the blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin. We find peace for our troubled consciences in the forgiveness that our Savior has won for us. When we are weighed down by guilt, when sin and Satan have us so mixed up and confused that we start to doubt whether God loves us, God is greater than our hearts. He sees our faith and the sacrifice of his Son and he proclaims to us in the gospel, “You are clean, because I have made you clean.”   

Notice that John points out here that God knows everything, and he actually intends this to be a comforting thought. To many, this is the most terrible thought imaginable! If God knows everything, that means he knows the countless sins we have committed against him. He knows even the secret sins that lurk within our hearts, the ones we desperately try to hide from everyone else. He even knows the sins that we aren’t even aware of.  It can be a frightening thought to realize that God knows and sees everything.

As Christians, we don’t lie to ourselves and pretend that we never sin. But at the same time we don’t crucify ourselves for our sins either, because we know that Jesus has paid for the world’s guilt on the cross. Those who don’t believe in Jesus have to try to ease their troubled conscience by simply trying really hard to do what God commands and then crossing their fingers and hoping it’s enough. Such efforts can never bring us true and lasting peace. But as Christians, we find rest for their wearied and burdened souls in the forgiveness and salvation that Jesus has won for us. We depend completely on him. And thus we find peace.           

What a profound impact this has on our lives. When your heart no longer condemns you, you wake up each day with the burden of shame and guilt lifted from your shoulders. Jesus’ love and forgiveness, not guilt or fear, motivate you to obey his commands and do what pleases him. You show kindness and compassion to others, simply because that is how Jesus wants you to live.  When you trust in the forgiveness and salvation that Jesus has won for you, when you stay connected to Christ and the power of his Holy Spirit by listening to the Word of God and receiving Holy Communion, a life of love comes naturally. Jesus is the vine. You are the branches, branches which naturally bear fruit.  

There is no pressure to demonstrate to God that you are good enough to earn his favor, no fear of not being worthy enough to stand in his presence. Jesus has already taken care of all that for you. He has made you worthy by living and dying in your place. And now, when it comes to doing good works, there is no pressure, no fear.  

Reach the pastor at (928) 243-2270.

Phrases like, “You have to,” and, “You must,” are replaced with a joyful, “I will.” The hopeless task of trying to earn your own salvation is replaced with simply living in Jesus’ love.