Back in 1976, two economists, Michael Jensen and William Meckling, published a paper looking at why managers don’t always behave in a way that is in the best interest of shareholders. The root cause, as Jensen and Meckling saw it, is that people work in accordance with how you pay them.

Many managers have come to believe this, too: you just need to pay people to do what you want them to do, when you want them to do it.

The problem with thinking about incentives in this way is that there are powerful anomalies that it cannot explain. For example: some of the hardest working people on the planet are employed in charitable organizations. They work in the most difficult conditions imaginable; they earn a fraction of what they would if they were in the private sector. Yet it’s rare to hear of managers of nonprofits complaining about getting their staff motivated. The same goes for the military.

So how do we explain what is motivating them–if it’s not money?

Well, there is a second school of thought, which turns this thinking about incentives on its head. It acknowledges that although you can pay people to want what you want, incentives are not the same as motivation. True motivation is getting people to do something because they want to do it, in good times and in bad.

Frederick Herzberg, probably one of the most incisive writers on the topics of motivation, published a breakthrough article in the Harvard Business Review focusing on exactly this. Herzberg noted the common assumption that job satisfaction is one big continuous spectrum–starting with very happy on one end, and reaching all the way down to absolutely miserable on the other–is not actually the way our minds work. Instead, satisfaction and dissatisfaction are separate, independent measures.

This means that it’s possible, for example, to both love your job and hate it all at the same time.

This thinking on motivation distinguishes between two different types of factors: hygiene factors and motivation factors. On one side of the equation, there are the elements of work that, if not done right, will cause us to be dissatisfied. These are the hygiene factors: status, compensation, job security, work conditions, company policies, and supervisory practices. It matters, for example, that you don’t have a manager who manipulates you for his own purposes–or who doesn’t hold you accountable for things over which you don’t have responsibility. Bad hygiene causes dissatisfaction.

But even if you instantly improve the hygiene factors of your job, you’re not going to suddenly love it. At best, you just won’t hate it anymore. The opposite of job dissatisfaction isn’t job satisfaction, but rather an absence of job dissatisfaction. They’re not the same thing at all.

The Balance of Motivators and Hygiene Factors

So, what are the factors that will cause us to love our jobs? These are what Herzberg’s research calls motivators. Motivation factors include challenging work, recognition, responsibility, and personal growth. Motivation is much less about external prodding or stimulation, and much more about what’s inside of you and inside of your work.

The lens of Herzberg’s theory gave me insight into the career choices that my own classmates made. Some of them had chosen careers using hygiene factors as the primary criteria; income was often the most important of these. On the surface, they had lots of good reasons to do exactly that. They had given up years of their working lives and viewed their education as an investment; they wanted to see a good return on that investment.

Yet, many of those same classmates had written entrance essays on their hopes for using their education to tackle the world’s most vexing social problems or pursue their dreams of becoming entrepreneurs. Periodically, as we were all considering our post-graduation plans, we’d try to keep ourselves honest: “What about doing something you really love?” “Don’t worry,” came back the answer. “This is just for a couple of years. I’ll pay off my loans, get myself in a good financial position. Then I’ll chase my real dreams.”

But somehow that early pledge to return to their real passion after a couple of years kept getting deferred. It wasn’t too long before some of them privately admitted that they had actually begun to resent the jobs they’d taken–for what they now realized were the wrong reasons. Worse still, they found themselves stuck. Their lifestyles had expanded to fit their incomes, and that’s a trap that can be very hard to find your way out of.

The point isn’t that money is the root cause of professional unhappiness. It’s not. The problems start occurring when it becomes the priority over all else, when you’ve satisfied the hygiene factors but the quest remains only to make more money. Herzberg’s theory of motivation suggests you need to ask yourself a different set of questions: Is this work meaningful to me? Will I have an opportunity for recognition and achievement? Am I going to learn new things?

Once you get this right, the more measureable aspects of your job will fade in importance. As the saying goes; find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

Excerpted from How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton M. Christensen, James Allworth, and Karen Dillon, to be published May 15, 2012 by Harper Business, an imprint of HarperCollins.

Clayton M. Christensen is the Kim B. Clark Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School, and is regarded as one of the world’s foremost experts on innovation and growth. James Allworth is a graduate of the Harvard Business School, and worked formerly at Apple Inc and Booz Company. Karen Dillon was formerly the Editor of the Harvard Business Review and Deputy Editor of Inc Magazine. Their latest book, How Will You Measure Your Life? (HarperCollins, May 2012), aims to teach readers how to think–about life and purpose–by sharing powerful research theories about success and failure.

[Image: Flickr user Paloetic]

It’s the time of year when spirited young women and men graduate from the joyous, beer-soaked, afternoon-napping-allowed world of college and enter the soul-crushing, coffee-soaked, afternoon-napping-frowned-upon world of work.

I kid, of course — graduates, you’ll love the real world! (No, you won’t. … Return to school immediately. … I haven’t had fun in 20 years. PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU!!)

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As most of you know, the first post-graduation step is to get the throw-up off the shoes you rented for your graduation ceremony. The next is to get a job, which is unfortunate because there aren’t quite as many of those as there used to be.

I consulted with job search experts and business owners to come up with some pragmatic tips for young job seekers — not the “add some zazz to your resume!” or “make sure to wear a power tie” type of advice. Concrete, sensible stuff that fits the modern business world.

Tom Walter is head of a company called Tasty Catering and co-author of the coming book “It’s My Company Too!” He said the vast majority of companies that are hiring are smaller ones with fewer than 500 employees. Yet many college graduates are still being taught job search and interview approaches tailored for large, monolithic corporations.

Smaller businesses, Walter said, tend to look for employees they believe will fit into the company’s culture — they’re “hiring for attitude.”

“If you’re looking for a job, you don’t want to just take something that comes along,” he said. “You need to find a place that matches your core values. That’s a place where you’ll be recognized, and that’s a place where you’ll have a better chance of getting hired.”

This requires research. Simply applying for every job you hear about isn’t going to get it done. You need to take some time, reflect on what inspires you, talk to people in the field about what they do and then start finding companies that match your desires.

“What they should do is investigate the company and deeply dive into it and figure out if their personal skills and values line up,” Walter said. “Ask about the culture, ask about core values, ask about how they measure your performance.

“We had this young man come in here once for an interview, and he knew about our culture and he said what was important to him was that he be respected from the day he starts working. That was clearly a differentiator. That stood out.”

The young man got the job.

So the lesson here is that before you find work, you’ve got to do work. And if it goes right, you’ll wind up in a job that’s a good fit, which is a rare feat for a person just out of college.

Along with researching the daylights out of companies, graduates need to network like never before. Talk to alumni, friends of family, friends of friends, strangers you meet on the street. (OK, maybe not that last one.)

Kathy Ver Eecke, a marketing expert who works with early stage startups, suggests finding the heads of smaller companies on social media and interacting with them. Comment on their tweets or shoot them links to stories you think might be of interest. Ask whether you can meet them for coffee or try to set up an informational interview.

She suggests that candidates “express enthusiasm for the business that borders on obsession.” Smaller companies are looking for people who are driven, informed and can bring something to the table right off the bat.

Given the competitive nature of the job market, you might have to settle for part-time opportunities or contract work at first. But remember, anything you do, whether it’s paid or volunteer, provides critical experience and opens more networking doors.

Once you land an interview with a target company, be prepared to ask questions that show you care not just about the job but also about the company’s character.

“If you come in just like every other person and talk the applicant talk, the stuff many 45-year-old people are telling college students to do, that’s not going to work,” Walter said. “You need to ask questions like: What are your core values and what does your company stand for? How do you make your culture work? As an employee, what would your organization judge me on most?”

Don’t ask questions like this just to suck up to the interviewer. You should be asking them earnestly, because if your beliefs and desires line up with the company’s, you’ll be a far better and happier worker. Fresh out of college, this is the right time to figure out what you need to feel fulfilled at work. It gets harder to do that later in life.

Walter summed it up nicely in a recent post on his blog, “Thomas J Walter The Serial Entrepreneur” (thomasjwalter.com): “As a graduate trying to gain employment, screen companies for their ability to provide you an income, but join a company that shares your attitude and core values. Skills can be taught to an individual, but an individual’s attitude can rarely be changed.”

I came out of college, believe it or not, as a chemical engineer. I worked, miserably, for several years before realizing that writing was my passion. It took several more years to find my path, but once I got there I never looked back.

And now I’m American’s most beloved workplace advice columnist, self-declared.

So regardless of how cheesy it might sound, find what drives you. Then find the job that matches and go after it like a rabid bulldog.

And if you decide to return to college, give me a shout. I’m totally gonna crash on your futon.

TALK TO REX: Ask workplace questions — anonymously or by name — and share stories with Rex Huppke at ijustworkhere@tribune.com, like Rex on Facebook at facebook.com/rexworkshere, and find more at chicagotribune.com/ijustworkhere.

Dare we say this performance is … unique?! LOL!

Inside Glee joke!

If you’ve been keeping up, then you are well aware that this coming week, Gleeks will be treated to a double-helping of Glee deliciousness. Back-to-back episodes are slated for Tuesday night, including the New Directions final shot at glory at Nationals. Will Rachel Berry and Co. finally take home the gold?

There’s only two things standing in the way of that dream: some persnickety judges –like yours truly and Lindsay Lohan (keep an eye out for us!) — and this band of extraordinarily talented kiddies who call themselves Vocal Adrenaline.

Here EXCLUSIVELY on PerezHilton.com is a FIRST LOOK at Alex Newell’s return to Glee with a performance of Nicki Minaj’s Starships (above)!!!!

IN-CRE-DI-BLE!!!!

And don’t we look just so GOOD?! We were SO into this! Can’t you tell?!

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Consider me a cautionary tale. I was one of many misguided college graduates who underestimated how difficult it would be to find a job after graduation. I didn’t expect to collect my diploma and walk into a sea of headhunters waiting to hire me, but I had no idea that it would take me a year to find a job in my field.

I thought I was doing things right. I took my classes really seriously, got good grades and built relationships with my professors. I paid my own way through school, which left no time for internships (or sleep).

Now my younger sister is in college, and I’m determined to make sure she doesn’t experience the same post-college struggles that I did. College students, please heed the following advice. Your wallet and your sanity will thank me later.

1. Don’t wait until graduation to start your job search

It sounds obvious, but this is a common mistake. I told myself I was too busy. But I should have made the time.

Job-hunting is a long process that takes patience. In fact, when I finally got an interview for my current job, it was after months of checking the company’s website for an appropriate opening. Start making your post-college career plans as soon as possible.

2. Show off your skills

A resume can only say so much, particularly when you don’t have a lot of experience yet. Consider starting a blog, creating a website or making a video to show off your specific talents. Listing “strong writing skills” on a resume isn’t nearly as effective as showcasing those skills with particular examples of work.

3. Be an active intern

The “go get me some coffee” internship stereotype exists for a reason. Just because you’re assigned menial tasks doesn’t give you an excuse to be passive. Ask for more difficult tasks. Offer your ideas. Find out about the company’s hiring process. Talk to your superiors and seek out a mentor.

Landing an internship is only half the battle. You have to make yourself indispensable.

4. Apply high

One of my favorite college professors advised me to not be afraid to “apply high.” She said this after I complained that every job I wanted required years of experience I didn’t yet have. She told me that just because a job has specific requirements doesn’t mean you shouldn’t apply if you believe that you’re capable of performing.

When I found out about the opening for my current position, I went for it even though I did not meet some of the minimum requirements. I wrote a strong cover letter. I came to the interview confident and well-prepared.

As a newbie to the workforce, you have to be ready to prove that you can do it — but it’s well worth the fight.

5. Network here, there and everywhere

Though the job market isn’t ideal right now, new graduates have an incredible array of networking tools at their disposal. Use every single one of them. Streamline all of your social media pages to reflect your job search. Use your LinkedIn and Facebook contacts to connect to new people in your field.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that networking ends on the computer. Talk to anyone who might be able to help. Job-hunting is not the time to be timid.

6. Be a realistic dreamer

Certain majors are more employable than others. I believe that people should chase their dreams, but I’m also a realist. If you major in something esoteric, your job options will be far more limited than someone who majors in accounting.

I majored in writing. Though fiction is my one true love, I took every possible writing class while I was in college. I wanted to be as well-rounded as possible to increase my job options.

Now I have a job that pays me to write. I might not be on the shelves of Barnes and Noble (yet), but I am pursuing my dream and paying my bills at the same time.

The lesson: Don’t wait for the perfect job to land in your lap. Work hard, network and don’t give up on your dreams — just be smart about them.

(Erin Palmer is a contributor to Brazen Careerist. She works as a writer and editor for Villanova University’s online programs and can be reached on Twitter @Erin_E_Palmer. Brazen Careerist is a lifestyle and career blog for ambitious young professionals. This isn’t your parents’ career-advice column. Be Brazen.)

(c) 2012 Tribune Media Services, Inc.

Chris Harrison

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The minute Chris Harrison announced his split from Gwen Jones, his wife of 18 years, the quips about him being the next Bachelor star began.

It turns out the show’s host can see the humor in the speculation – but isn’t ready for that kind of experience.

“I was waiting for that question,” the host said Wednesday during a conference call to promote the new season of The Bachelorette, which premieres Monday.

“Getting out of a 22-year relationship, having just announced my divorce to the world a week ago, having two kids and trying to start a new life, I’m thinking I wouldn’t exactly be a great candidate to be the bachelor right now or anytime soon.”

Harrison is happy that he has a good relationship with his ex and says he cherishes what he and his wife had together.

“I had an amazing 18-year marriage to a incredible woman,” he says. “I don’t have any regrets about the last 22 years of my life, the love and family that I had or the love and friendship that I have now [with Gwen]. I still hold that very dear and cherish it very much.”

And the breakup has not soured Harrison’s belief in marriage or The Bachelor franchise’s quest to create lasting couples.

“I still, and maybe more than ever, believe in the search and what everybody is doing on the show because I’ve been there and I lived that life,” Harrison says. “I’ve loved deeply with [my] whole heart and know how great it can be. I will hopefully fall in love and find that again.”

When he is ready to start looking for love, Harrison will have to deal with the high bar the series has set for dates.

He was jokingly warned that women might expect him to provide the same exotic locales, luxury suites and adrenaline-fueled activities like bungee jumping and diving with sharks seen on the reality show.

“Yep, [they will expect] the helicopter and private jet,” he said with a slight groan. “I haven’t actually had a date in 22 years so we’ll see.”

NBC has announced the identities of the contestants who will be competing on the second season of Love in the Wild, which will premiere with a special two-hour episode on Thursday, June 7 at 8PM ET.

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In addition to the 14 expected single men and women who will be looking for love on the reality dating show’s upcoming season, NBC also revealed the contestants will initially be surprised by seven other men searching for “the one” as well.

During the series’ second-season debut, the seven “surprise” men will each be paired up with an original couple to kick off everyone’s adventures in a trio.

Similar to Love in the Wild’s first season, the new edition will follow seven single men and seven single women — not including the seven “surprise men” — as they look for love while undertaking a series of adventurous activities in the Dominican Republic with the hopes of winning luxurious rewards.

At the end of each episode, singles will be eliminated after all the pairs gather together to reveal whether they have formed a connection with their current partner or want to switch and get to know someone else. Love in the Wild’s new season – which will be hosted by Jenny McCarthy, who is replacing first-season host Darren McMullen — will conclude with only one couple standing, according to the network.

Love in the Wild is produced by Endemol USA and executive produced by Tom Shelly.

Love in the Wild’s 14 original second-season male and female cast members and their NBC-supplied descriptions are:

- Kenneth Barrington, a 33-year-old from Peoria, IL, who currently resides in Miami Beach, FL.

NBC says, “This sexy bachelor is ready to give up the Miami dating scene and share his life with someone special. The Cornell graduate and successful real estate developer also has a soft side and is a foster parent for his local animal shelter.”

- Yanina Beccaria, a 33-year-old from Rosario, Argentina, who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

NBC says, “Former ‘Ice Girl’ for the Chicago Blackhawks, Beccaria is sassy and competitive and she’s not afraid to show it. Beccaria knows she’s attractive and loves to flirt, but she’s also willing to get rough-and-tumble. She used to play football until she tore her ACL. Even though she enjoys being single and having fun, she’s feeling pressure to get married and start a family.”

- Jenny Blatt, a 27-year-old from Philadelphia, PA.

NBC says, “After walking in on her boyfriend of five years with another woman, Blatt knows how it feels to be burned by love. Though it took some time, she has bounced back and is ready to meet her Mr. Right. While Blatt is highly competitive due to her years in professional gymnastics, she does not like bugs or getting dirty which might create difficulties in the wild.”

- Aaron Chase, a 28-year-old from San Diego, CA, who currently resides in Newport Beach, CA.

NBC says, “U.S. Marine Corps veteran Chase hopes that his training will allow him to dominate the adventures. He was once in a long-term serious relationship and had his heart broken before heading off to war in Iraq but has been living the single life for the past three years. He admits he’s been holding out for someone worth dating, someone with a big heart.”

- Benjamin Clark, a 27-year-old from Chesterfield, England, who currently resides in Monroe, NC.

NBC says, “Born and raised in England, girls like Clark for the wrong reasons including just hearing his sexy British accent. However, his sheer charm is sure to win the hearts of the ladies and keep the men on their toes. The former pro soccer player says that people either love him or hate him. Regardless, he’s hoping to find true love on the show.”

- Shauna Dillard, a 28-year-old from Kingsburg, CA, who currently resides in Hollywood, CA.

NBC says, “After recently getting out of a six-year relationship, Dillard is dedicated to finding true love and will not settle for anything less. Growing up on a farm prepared Dillard for getting down and dirty, which is exactly what she’s willing to do to find the right guy. When this makeup artist and headband designer is not working, she’s keeping busy with her favorite past time — yoga.”

- Jason Holmes, a 29-year-old from Paso Robles, CA, who currently resides in North Hollywood, CA.

NBC says, “Holmes comes from a loving family. His parents have been together since high school. This personal trainer really wants to find a romance similar to his parents and hopes to find true love on the show.”

- Ali Leitza, a 33-year-old from Little Rock, AR, who currently resides in North Little Rock, AR.

NBC says, “Leitza is a sexy, southern belle who is not afraid to pull some pranks to find her prince charming. Many of her past dates lacked the capability to handle this strong-willed woman. Her dating requirements now include a man with a backbone, who can embrace her passions.”

- Tara Locke, a 26-year-old from Arlington Heights, IL, who currently resides in Miami Beach, FL.

NBC says, “Locke is a self-professed glamour girl and yachting, shopping, and clubbing activities are just a typical day in her life. Locke is looking for a great man to call her own and her strategy for this experience is to literally be ‘her amazing self.’ She admits that she is a professional flirt and will do whatever it takes to get what she wants.”

- Cina Luks, a 22-year-old from San Lorenzo, CA.

NBC says, “Luks is adventurous and is looking for a man who can share her enthusiasm for life. While she likes to dress up, she’s not afraid to get dirty. A man will need to travel fast to keep up with her as she has her private pilot aviation certificate and a motorcycle permit.”

- Summer Mack, a 32-year-old from Satellite Beach, FL, who currently resides in Indian Harbour Beach, FL.

NBC says, “According to the all-American girl Mack, she’s looking for a man that won’t just buy her an alligator purse but will kill one, skin it and make a purse for her. An Olympic Trials finalist on the United States National Swimming Team, she developed her competitive nature early and will do just about anything to win. Her biggest regret is not marrying her first love.”

- Tim Parrish, a 32-year-old from Green Bay, WI, who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

NBC says “Do not be fooled by his good looks and charm. Parrish likes to play the field. He feels like there are a lot of great ladies out there, but there is only one of him to go around. He’s not too worried though, as he feels that this is the
‘Year of The Tim.’ Parrish loves the ladies, but he loves winning even more.”

- Christian Seklecki, a 34-year-old from August, GA, who currently resides in Atlanta, GA.

NBC says, “As a child, Seklecki’s favorite game was ‘Capture the Flag’ — and now he hopes to capture a woman’s heart in the wild. After a few failed online dating experiences, he is ready to find a genuine woman with whom he can spend the rest of his life. Seklecki has his hands full juggling all his interests but insists that he is not too busy for a relationship.”

- Jesse Wilson, a 33-year-old from Oakdale, CA, who currently resides in Manhattan Beach, CA.

NBC says, “Wilson grew up in Oakdale, CA, which happens to be affectionately known as ‘Cowboy Capital of the World.’ This small-town boy is looking for the perfect girl and already had the names picked out for his children.”

 

Love in the Wild’s second-season “surprise” guys and their NBC-supplied descriptions are:

- Franky Arriola, a 31-year-old from Miami, FL.

NBC says, “The youngest of his Cuban American family, Arriola considers himself very assertive, ambitious and blessed to have such great looks. His select dating criteria include women who are caring, supportive, sweet, good-looking, athletic, and fun. Germaphobes and inked women need not apply.”

- Leo Borriello, a 27-year-old from Windsor, CT, who currently resides in Philadelphia, PA.

NBC says, “Borriello loves the ladies — and they love his six-pack and contagious smile. He takes pride in his chiseled body, but there is more to this Italian financial analyst than just his good looks. He’s looking for a woman that can keep up with him and is excited about a trip around the world and the possibility of finding a new love along the journey.”

- Quaison “Q” Dodd, a 31-year-old from New Haven, CT, who currently resides in Los Angeles, CA.

NBC says, “As a former football jock and college football champion, Quaison ‘Q’ Dodd is not familiar with losing. Although physical fitness is as a top priority in his life as a personal trainer, finding the right woman is even more important. Dodd is looking to settle down and start a family and is counting on his winning streak to help him find a woman with whom he has true synergy.”

- Jason Ewell, a 25-year-old from Dublin, CA.

NBC says, “Though Ewell cherishes his small town roots, he seeks out big adventures and larger thrills. Ewell loves to be in a relationship, and is not afraid to get in touch with his more sensitive side, even if it means shedding a few tears. He’s looking for a partner in crime to join him skydiving, clay shooting and traveling the country.”

- Ryan Sm.th, a 27-year-old from Boise, ID, who currently resides in San Francisco, CA.

NBC says, “Growing up with a basketball coach as a father, Smith had no choice but to be competitive. However, as much as Smith would like to win, he is more focused on finding his future wife. His other interests include wakeboarding, snowboarding, golf, tennis and people-watching.”

- Mike Sweet, a 30-year-old from San Dimas, CA, who currently resides in Los Angeles, CA.

NBC says, “As a lifeguard, surf instructor and water polo player, Sweet hopes to swim laps around his competitors and dive into the hearts of the single women in the wild. An active outdoorsman, Sweet’s goal of becoming a professional beach volleyball player keeps him active and always at the beach.”

- Darwin Zook, a 32-year-old from Boston, MA.

NBC says, “Zook is an all-American stud and former basketball player who knows how to strategize — and he plans to stop at nothing in order to crush the competition and find love. All he needs on a first date is a fun, relaxed atmosphere, music and free-flowing drinks. Zook is looking for the right woman and he will not settle.”

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Remember when Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks in an AOL chat room? In the 1998 hit movie You’ve Got Mail, they fell in love online. The rest is romantic comedy history.

Today online love is big business. In 2009, 22 percent of heterosexual couples and 61 percent of same-sex couples met online, according to CNN.

As a single woman myself, I decided to try three of the biggest and best-known services – but to find a bargain, not a mate. I wanted to find out which online matchmaker offers the most bang for the buck (no pun intended.) After a month of dutiful searching, here’s what I found.

1. eHarmony

Cost: Ranges from $19.95 per month to $59.95 per month.

Background: eHarmony claims it’s responsible for 5 percent of U.S. marriages, but the lengthy application process was responsible for giving me a headache. To sign up for eHarmony, you answer a series of basic questions, followed by a lengthy questionnaire eHarmony uses to develop your “personality profile” – 307 multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank questions in total. I spent more than two hours rating my intelligence, love of video games, and frugality on a scale of 1 to 5.

My biggest gripe with eHarmony is the cost. You get a discount if you sign up for a year: $19.95 a month for a basic plan, billed in three installments. Shorter contracts are billed much higher…

• 12 months – $19.95 per month
• Six months – $29.95 per month
• Three months – $39.95 per month
• One month – $59.95

To add insult to injury, you’ll have to stay on top of your account unless you want to get charged again. From eHarmony: “In order to ensure uninterrupted service, all eHarmony subscriptions will be automatically renewed 24 hours before they expire.”

After you get through the grueling sign-up process, eHarmony is a decent site, but I didn’t find many matches. Searching only returned 65 profiles within my age group and personality type – in the entire country. Other age groups returned more matches, especially 35 to 45.

Conclusion: If you’re older than I am, and don’t mind high fees and long questionnaires, this might be for you.

2. Match.com

Cost: Free to browse, up to $34.99 per month for full access.

Background: Match.com also has a lengthy application process, but unlike eHarmony, the majority of the questions are basic interests and lifestyle choices. So instead of grading my charitable nature on a scale of 1 to 5, I spent half an hour listing movies I liked and coming up with my personal motto. (I chose, “It never got weird enough for me.”)

You can sign up, create a profile, and receive messages for free. But if you want to respond to messages and have full access to the site, you need to order a basic subscription. If you want all the perks, you’ll have to sign up for a “value plan.” The prices look like this…

Basic plans:

• One month – $34.99
• Three months – $19.99 per month
• Six months – $16.99 per month

Best value plans:

• Three months – $22.99 per month
• Six months – $19.99 per month

I chose the free subscription. My friend chose a basic plan. The only difference I noticed: She was able to send messages to other members first, while I had to wait for members to contact me before I could respond. The “value plan” gives you a highlighted profile, and your profile will be one of the first emailed to new members. But that wasn’t worth the extra cost, in my opinion. I did find an even distribution of age groups on Match.com.

Conclusion: You get what you pay for, and free means waiting for someone to find you. So a basic plan is probably worth it.

3. OkCupid

Cost: Free for most services, $9.95 a month for a few advanced features.

Background: With OkCupid, starting your profile requires answering only a few questions, and photos are optional. I signed up in 10 minutes. But if you want an accurate match, you can answer any number of user-submitted questions – and there are hundreds of them to choose from. My friend has answered 1,301 questions, and there are still more to go. OkCupid compares your answers with the other user’s answers and gives you a “match percentage” based on the number of similar answers.

OkCupid isn’t the easiest site to navigate. But it does have one thing going for it – you can use any feature on the site or the app for free, although that means dealing with ads and tracked viewing. OkCupid‘s privacy policy explains they “track your use of our site” and “the information we obtain in this manner enables us to customize the services we offer our website visitors to deliver targeted advertisements.” But for $9.95 a month, you can browse anonymously and ad-free. I didn’t pay for that – wasn’t worth it to me.

Overall, I like OkCupid. I did get more “OMG! Ur hawt!” messages on OkCupid than I did on Match.com or eHarmony, which implies a younger audience. And what can you really expect from a free dating site? I did, however, have a few decent conversations.

Conclusion: If you’re just testing the whole online dating thing, start with OkCupid. You’ll get a feel for browsing through thousands of profiles and sending messages – and you may actually meet someone.

My results

While I didn’t have a You’ve Got Mail moment, I did make a few new friends. And that was worth signing up for, especially free. What would I pay for meeting the love of my life? Hard to say. But for me, it’s not yet worth an outrageous monthly fee on the off chance it happens.

Another option might be to look for love closer to home. Check out 7 Jobs Where You Can Find Love – and What They Pay.

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